I talk a good game about Torah, G-d, and belief
But I think in kindness I'll find the antidote to grief

Help me be a giver who receives
Kind relationships that don't deceive

Waning Tzom Gedalia

I'm sitting facing my screen
like an alien summoned;
not me as my highest self.

It's been a Jewish fast day,
now ending its last minutes-
slowly, slowly winding down.

Eating after a fast day
ends with one of those thresholds
with polarized pre and post.

And though I strongly protest
I must confess that I like
before way more than after.

I like having strong hunger
because it awakens me
out of being a zombie.

Right now I am craving food
or so part of my thoughts think
but more-so i long for G-d.

There are worse things I could do
than sit here in at-one-ment
postponing my break-fast meal.

This screen is a place of prayer
not the only one, but one
now, during these holy days.

So I sit here and I breathe
and I pray to have belief
on this threshold's other side.

I write for myself with
the secret wish that you
will take my words to heart.
I don't know who you are
but I know I'm alone.
And I'm resisting bed.
And I have this yearning
to be seen, heard, and read,
by someone, maybe you.

When you made a point
of signing off by
calling me bro
It was almost like
mentioning that you
have a boyfriend
though I know you don't
because that is almost
all you talk to me about.

In re-setting me up,
when she said "the frummer one"
I knew who she meant,
and how backwards she was
in her thinking, in her living
because "the frummer one"
isn't one to daven or learn
or seek closeness to G-d
and the "less frum one"
wakes up at five for minyan
and lives to learn and teach Torah
and is so careful with her words.
But to this set 'em upper, labels
like left and right are what count
not what's left of what's right
when you stop talking
and honestly look at
what's behind the label

I am isolated. I am blessed with family and friends.

My apartment does not get direct sunlight. I have an apartment.

I am hungry at this moment. I have access to more food than I need.

My job exhausts me. I am blessed in my work to interact, to connect, to teach.

I write on Facebook. I write on Facebook.

He confided me
with which bed he himself owns
but I still don't get
how the Mattress Firm salesman
is able to sleep at night

Attachment

You don't love glue

in and of itself,

you love what's bound

invisibly by glue.

When the glue has gone

you realize it was there

like the Holy Ghost

hovering behind

the Father and Son.

You realize that you

loved the glue itself

for what it did for you

that you never knew.